So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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