Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
