Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
