i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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