Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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