Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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