If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
