Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
