is your mom at the bar?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
