You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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