Where is the hickey?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
