just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
