did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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