What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
