I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So much rum. So many feels.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
