I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
