If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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