kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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