I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
