Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
