ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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