high people should be assigned attendants
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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