Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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