Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Boobs are out for the taking
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
