You work out of a Hotel?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
