i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
