Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
