Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
