Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
