Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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