That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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