So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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