he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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