It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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