Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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