are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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