She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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