Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
