Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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