Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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