But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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