I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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