Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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