how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
