Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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