Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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