Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

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(301): View more from Maryland

the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.

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(817): View more from Texas

I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

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(541): View more from Oregon

On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

It's a study aid

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(253): View more from Washington

I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.

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