Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
