Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?

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(410): View more from Maryland

He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

True romance of the 21st century.

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(740): View more from Ohio

new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.

(419): View more from Ohio

you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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(937): View more from Ohio

They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition

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