Only a mothe r could love this liver
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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