I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize