FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Panties = found
Randomize
