Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
