she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
