Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize