How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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