fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
