Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize