I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
