if i can run in heels then i can drive
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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