You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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